Squid Game, Netflix’s latest K-drama, centers around 456 desperate individuals who compete in deadly children’s games as a way to buy themselves out of their crushing debt. From red light, green light, to tug of war, to marbles, the series mined the nostalgia of our youth and infused it with hopelessness and murder. These were nine episodes that were so brilliantly executed that they left us utterly exhausted and hungry for more.
Watching the series, however, got us thinking. What six games would we be subjected to in a Malaysian Permainan Sotong?
The Recruiter’s Game: Chi Ku Pang!
First of all, we’re going to need a Gong Yoo equivalent as our recruiter. Someone with a face you can trust, who would lend our Permainan Sotong some credibility, but is unfortunately far too famous to show up for more than just a cameo. We’re thinking either Bront Palarae or Tony Eusoff. Both of them look sharp in suits, and God knows you wouldn’t turn them down if they sat down next to you at an MRT station and asked you to play with them.
As for the game itself, it’ll have to be something straightforward but challenging. And we can’t think of anything better than the high speed, test-your-reflexes action of Chi Ku Pang to make some money, get in a few slaps, all while convincing desperate strangers to sell their bodies and souls for the chance to win a fortune.
For those of you who can’t remember, the rules of the game are simple. Chi Ku Pang is essentially Rock, Paper, Scissors on steroids. Both players start with their hands out and fists clenched. The initiator shouts out a combination of Chi (the ‘scissors’ hand signal), Ku (the “rock” hand signal), or Pang (the “paper” hand signal) and makes the relevant shape with their hands. Their opponent must then display a different shape from the one called out by the initiator. Whichever hand fails to do so is eliminated from the game. This continues until someone has both hands eliminated.
Every time you win a round, you get RM100. Every time one of your hands gets eliminated, you get slapped in the face.
Game #1: Batu Seremban
In this game of reflexes and dexterity, two players are made to face off with one another, each one throwing and catching the Batu Seremban, until one person fails to do so. That individual is eliminated from the game and then shot in the head.
Game #2: Layang-Layang
The remaining players are placed in a massive open field. They are given a kite, a line, and some crushed glass. They are then given five minutes to construct their very own fighting kite before taking each other on. The end goal here is to fly their kites and cut as many lines as they can. (Though we’re pretty sure that no one would stop them if they end up cutting each other in the process.) Anyone whose line is cut gets shot in the head. Anyone left standing after 15 minutes wins the game.
Game #3: Police and Thief
Police and thief, one two jaga. Police mati. Pencuri jaga.
In what is essentially a glorified game of tag, all players are split into two teams and assigned a “home.” Each side will attempt to capture as many members of the opposing team as possible and imprison them in their respective “homes.” Their fellow teammates can then free them by breaking through the other team’s defenses and tagging them. At the end of 30 minutes, anyone left imprisoned will be shot in the head.
Game #4: The Rubber Game
A school desk classic. This is a game that looks simple and primitive in its execution but requires a tremendous amount of skill, strategy, and psychological strength. Players are given an eraser each and forced to face off against one another. The objective is this. Using only their thumbs, they will need to flip the erasers with the aim of landing it atop their opponents. Anyone who manages to collect five erasers is safe from elimination. Losers get shot in the head.
Game #5: Main Gasing
The game is pretty self explanatory.
The remaining players are split into teams of two. Each pair spins their respective tops and the first one whose top stops spinning gets shot in the head.
Game #6: Pepsi Cola
Initially, we thought that the last game would have to be Galah Panjang, which has rules that are very similar to the Squid Game that Korean children play. But Galah Panjang wouldn’t be any fun with just two players. So we decided that it’s only fitting that the final two players partake in the most violent game that we played in the schoolyard: Pepsi Cola.
The game begins with both players facing each other. They chant “Pep-si Co-la” and then jump apart. Each player would then take turns trying to kick the foot of the other in an attempt to eliminate them. A lot of leaping and dodging would ensue until one player is victorious. The loser gets shot in the head. The winner walks away with the spoils.
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