How many films is it going to take to jeopardize a beloved franchise?
Back in 1993, Steven Spielberg revolutionized so many lives (including mine) by introducing us to these beautiful, cold-blooded, apex nightmares in the most gut-wrenching adventurous way possible through Jurassic Park.
(Side note: Irrelevant, loosely connected, but utterly unsolicited recommendation time – if you haven’t watched the animated dino-classic We’re Back! A Dinosaur’s Story also released in ‘93, do yourself a favour.)
Ok back to the Jurassic! To this day I find myself envious of my Ammi who got to have one of her solo movie dates with zero knowledge about these ravaging beasts throwing temper tantrums on a big screen. So much so that I’d still find myself watching the behind the scenes clips of this cult classic; it truly fascinates me. I’m no walking dinosaur encyclopedia, but I am a fan – of the movies and the creatures – and would never say no to another adventure. That said, it’s safe to say the franchise hasn’t really been thriving since the early 2000s. Don’t even get me started on Jurassic World Dominion (now that’s proper rage bait!)
And so it’s three years later and he have Jurassic World Rebirth and, in all fairness, it’s nowhere near as bad as Dominion. Does that make it a good film? Nope. It might be two steps ahead of Dominion, but it’s still 97 steps behind Jurassic Park.
Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way.
The script is riddled with dialogue so wooden and unnatural that you start questioning whether it was the result of a group chat turned screenplay. Characters speak in exposition dumps or weirdly disconnected one-liners that neither develop nor deepen the story. Every time a victim dies, you’ll have someone from the “living” chant their names three times into the distance as if it’s a cult memorial, before swaying away nonchalantly.
But it’s ScarJo who is surprisingly the weakest link here. We’re told that she is one of the best mercenaries in the world, but nothing she does in the movie actually demonstrates that fact. Her performance barely registers. From Ghost World to Marriage Story, Johansson has undoubtedly proven her range as an actor, but in this one she floats through her scenes with the energy of someone just waiting for the director to yell “cut” so she can get to craft services. There’s no depth, no urgency, and no fear. There’s just a string of tired facial expressions that do little to convince us she’s face-to-face with some of the scariest creatures on the planet. Her character’s motivations are so poorly written that even Johansson seems unsure of what she’s doing there.
And then there’s Jonathan Bailey. (Oh, slutty spectacled Jonathan Bailey!) For some reason, the posters for this movie has him holding a camera in his hand, teasing him as some kind of rugged scientist-cum-explorer. And yet, in the actual movie, his Dr. Henry Loomis is given absolutely nothing to do other than babble fun facts about dinosaurs. (The camera in question only appears for about 10 seconds in the movie!) But hey, it’s Jonathan Bailey, so at least he was being hot while doing it.
All of the character arcs here aren’t just maddeningly shallow, they’re also completely inconsistent. At one point, a character with a broken foot that can barely move is suddenly hiking across the jungle and running like a speedster in a matter of hours. There’s a vague hint at trauma, scattered hints of redemption, a few clunky lines about “humanity versus nature,” but nothing ever sticks. Everyone either survives because the script demands it, or dies without consequence. There’s no payoff, no emotional anchor, and certainly no logic.
And yet, among this rubble of a movie, there are a few small wins.
Rebirth is slightly better than its predecessor, Dominion, which isn’t saying much, but it’s something. It features more dinosaurs and less time spent arguing about biotech ethics in government buildings. At least the beasts are back, and they’re fun to watch – when they’re not being underused. The T-Rex was adorable.
Another win comes in the form of Mahershala Ali! (We’ve missed you.) If Blade ever stopped stalling, we’d be seeing you in a vampire flick instead of this dino mess, but here we are. Even with a script that doesn’t give him much to work with, Ali commands the screen with every line. His scenes, though few, offer glimmers of what Rebirth could’ve been with a more focused, character-driven story. But sadly, those glimmers are buried under mountains of unfinished business. Threads are introduced and never resolved. Themes are hinted at but never ventured upon. The film leaves you not with awe or terror, but fatigue – and a whole lot of questions that won’t be answered, because they clearly want to set up a sequel.
Follow Us