Jungle Cruise, the latest in a long line of Disney theme park attractions to be made into movies (see: Pirates of the Caribbean, Tower of Terror, The Haunted Mansion, Mission to Mars, Tomorrowland, etc.), is really quite the ride.
Emily Blunt plays Dr. Lily Houghton, a well-worn adventurer (and lady who wears pants) who travels to the Amazon in search of the Tears of the Moon, petals from a mystical “Tree of Life” that can allegedly heal all infirmities. There, she and her pampered brother, MacGregor (Jack Whitehall), hire the crafty but affable Frank Wolff (Dwayne Johnson) to captain and guide their journey deep into treacherous, semi-uncharted territory.
What follows is an action adventure that is full of every action adventure trope imaginable: a trickster rascal, a hyper-capable heroine, a wild jaguar, mystical villains, and Paul Giamatti’s Italian accent, all of which are held together by a series of set pieces that offer up a welcome dose of derring-do.
Umapagan Ampikaipakan: As a rule, whenever I describe a movie as being paint-by-numbers, I usually mean it in a bad way. It’s mechanical. It’s formulaic. It is, by nature, derivative, lacking the inspiration and energy of something original. But sometimes, just sometimes, if you stand far away enough, tilt your head to the left, and squint your eyes, that paint-by-numbers Mona Lisa might actually look like the real thing.
Which pretty much sums up how I felt about Jungle Cruise.
Bahir Yeusuff: Okay, cool, so we’re done right? You’ve pretty much summed up how I feel with that introduction. There is nothing new, or fresh, or surprising about Jungle Cruise, but it hangs together JUST well enough that for the two hours that you’re watching it. And the twine that holds this entire movie together is the charm and on screen magnetism that is Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson. There is nothing special here. Heck, there are times when it feels like the producers intentionally set out to make something that wasn’t special.
And yet, for those two hours, I was totally on board. It works. It’s fun. I enjoyed it enough to not be frustrated or angry at the end of it. Which in itself is saying a lot.
UA: There is also nothing here that is unfamiliar. It’s The Mummy, meets Indiana Jones, meets Pirates of the Carribean, with a little bit of The African Queen, Romancing the Stone, and Rudyard Kipling thrown in for good measure.
BY: Jack Whitehall’s MacGregor is to Emily Blunt’s Lily what John Hannah was to Rachel Weisz in The Mummy. They’re practically the same character!
UA: There is a magical MacGuffin. There are submarines, and snakes, and Nazis before they were Nazis. There is even some leftover CGI from those Pirates movies. I’ve seen this exact same movie a dozen times (if not more) already. I should have been bored out of my mind. But I wasn’t. Because like you, I had fun.
You know why? Because I’ve never seen this particular movie with The Rock before.
There is a buoyancy to his performance that feels incredibly natural. He brings with him a childlike optimism that immediately sucks you in. You’re absolutely right about this movie being carried on the backs of its actors. Or rather, on their real world selves as much as their on screen personas. (I’m pretty sure I enjoyed the movie a lot more after watching Emily Blunt and Dwayne Johnson do their promotional tour. The both of them are adorable together!)
BY: Take nothing away from Emily Blunt though. The way she plays the “straight” to Dwayne Johnson’s Skippy was great. There was such great chemistry between the two.
I also loved Jesse Plemons as Prince Joachim. He had just enough of a moustache-twirling-Red Baron-esque twinge to him that made it simply delightful.
But can we agree that of all the things that Paul Giamatti can do, an Italian accent isn’t one of them?
Franchise Fodder
BY: The one thing about this movie is that every beat was so predictable that I don’t think I’ll remember it in a week. All of it feels very comfortable, and by extension, somewhat forgettable. I didn’t need it to push the boundaries of storytelling, or break any new ground, but it was so derivative that I am unlikely to look back on it the same way I do The Mummy or National Treasure.
I worry that this will end up being another Pirates juggernaut. You know, the kind that just starts to meld into one long movie that no one can remember the details of which anymore.
UA: Back in 2003, when Disney released the first Pirates of the Caribbean, it really was a Hail Mary. And let’s be fair, if it wasn’t for Johnny Depp’s insane and inspired performance as Captain Jack Sparrow, the franchise would have never taken off in the way that it did. (God knows Orlando Bloom has about as much charisma as a damp tea towel.)
For me, Jungle Cruise is something of a throwback, and not just in the way it channels every “boys’ adventure story” ever written, but also in how the studio has framed it as an actor driven franchise. Apart from Tom Cruise, I think only The Rock has that kind of global star power. And it’ll be interesting to see how they move forward with the series given how fickle audiences are these days.
Four Quadrant Frank
BY: As with everything else, the pandemic isn’t going to help this movie do well in Malaysia. This is laser targeted towards families and with children being barred from cinemas at the moment, it feels like Jungle Cruise might not open quite as well as it should.
UA: Which is sad. Because this is exactly the kind of thing I would have loved as a kid. It goofy and fun. And it’s got just enough scares to thrill children without terrifying them. I know that the movie is going to be available to watch on Disney Plus in November, but this is the kind of romp that you want your kids to watch on the biggest screen possible.
UA: As far as generic blockbusters go, Jungle Cruise definitely ranks higher than a lot of other Disney efforts. There seems to be some attempt here at worldbuilding. And even though the movie ends in a way that’s primed for a sequel, I have to say that it does everything it needs to along the way to earn it.
Emily, Frank, and McGregor are templated archetypes but they aren’t played as caricatures. The same can be said for Jesse Plemons’ Prince Joachim. He may be modeled after Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark, but he infuses so much personality into the role that he makes it his own.
Which is why this movie doesn’t make me angry. I think director Jaume Collet-Serra is very smart in how he works within the studio set confines of a shameless cash grab and still manages to leave his mark.
BY: Jungle Cruise did just about enough to be a good and entertaining family adventure. There were just enough jokes and puns, just enough exciting danger, and just enough twists to keep you entertained. And if “just enough” is the worst thing I can say about Jungle Cruise, then that is not a bad day at the office.
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