What the hell is this movie? I should have known going into this that there was no chance, no way, no hope, that a Home Alone sequel was actually going to be any good. I mean, this is the sixth movie in the “franchise” (I use the term loosely), and the fourth futile attempt at recapturing the humour, heart, and magic of those first two movies. (Yes, the second movie was good. Fight me!) I should have known better. But I was lulled into a false sense of optimism by Disney Plus’ thus far stellar track record of spinoffs and sequels, of reboots, remakes, and reimaginings. High School Musical: The Musical: The Series, Monsters at Work, The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers, Doogie Kamealoha, M.D., even Turner & Hooch, have all managed to create something fun and fresh, while still paying tribute to, and capturing the spirit of the original shows that they’re based on. Home Sweet Home Alone, on the other hand, is lazy, witless, uninventive trash.
So here’s where we are with this movie. It begins at an open house, with an utterly contrived encounter between The McKenzies, Pam and Jeff (Ellie Kemper and Rob Delany), and the Mercers, 10-year-old Max (Archie Yates) and his mother Carol (Aisling Bea). Pam and Jeff are forced to sell their family home because of financial woes and Carol makes an emergency stop at their viewing because Max really needed to pee. There is an awkward conversation about a box of vintage dolls. Rob Delany is weird and mean to a 10-year-old. After which everyone moves along because there really is no longer anything to see here.
We are then treated to the film school remake of that brilliantly chaotic opening scene from the first Home Alone. You know the one. Where we are introduced to everyone in Kevin’s family from his point of view. Where we are completely overwhelmed by the commotion and confusion of having to corral “five boys, six girls, four parents, two drivers … and a partridge in a pear tree.” Where director Chris Columbus frames the logic of the movie. You remember. It was great. In this movie it’s just amateurish. It’s boring.
Max is then left alone at home. And the conflict begins when the McKenzies, convinced that he stole a priceless doll while at their open house, decide that they need to break into the Mercer home in order to get it back. Now remember, these aren’t the “Wet Bandits.” These aren’t criminals like Harry and Marv. They’re just two idiots from the suburbs who make very bad decisions.
You’re What the French Call “Les Incompétents”
The first Home Alone made it a point to show us how the McAllisters could mistakenly assume that Kevin was right there with them as they messily made their way on holiday. At every point along the way, we were presented with all the reasons as to why and how they could have forgotten him. The anxiety of missing an alarm and oversleeping before a flight. The busybody neighbourhood kid who shows up and gets in the way of Heather’s headcount. Racing through the airport in order to make it to the gate on time. Yes, it sometimes stretched the limits of plausibility, but you were so caught up in the chaos of it all that you didn’t care. It was a comedy of errors. A handful of perfectly crafted minutes that set everything up so the rest of the movie would work. And it was funny.
Home Sweet Home Alone on the other hand does none of that. It is, instead, the absolute worst kind of remake, relying on your familiarity with the original movie to fill in all the parts they were too lazy to write. There’s one throwaway line about how Max left with his mother on an earlier flight and then we don’t see or hear from the family again until roughly about 20 minutes into the movie. If they don’t care about Max, why the hell should we?
Why would anyone make this movie now and not address the notion that being left home alone is a much harder proposition than it was in 1990? A Home Alone movie in 2021, one that managed to work around and subvert the idea of cellphones, and the Internet, and personal trackers, and knowing where your children are at all times, would have been absolutely genius.
Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal
But we got this instead. A masterclass in uninspired filmmaking. Conclusive evidence, dripping with blood and covered in fingerprints, at how bad directing can undermine even the best performers. Archie Yates, who was phenomenal in JoJo Rabbit, is utterly wasted in this movie. All of his brightness and confidence is nowhere to be seen. The otherwise likable Ellie Kemper and Rob Delany come off as obnoxious assholes.
Are we supposed to feel bad for the kid who’s been left behind? Should we be afraid for him? Pam and Jeff might be stupid, but they aren’t genuine threats. There is no malice in what they’re doing. Right from the start, we have absolutely no idea who we’re supposed to be sympathizing with, making it impossible to root for either side.
And there are two sides to this. Which might be the dumbest plot decision in a movie that is full of dumb plot decisions. Writers Mikey Day and Streeter Seidell seem convinced that the way to freshen up a Home Alone movie is to attempt a story in which the audience is somehow left torn between a 10-year-old kid who’s trying to protect his house and two grown ups trying to recover a doll which they think he stole from them.
Harry and Marv were dangerous. We knew watching that first Home Alone that Kevin was a goner if they ever got their hands on him. Here, we’re expected to derive pleasure from the torture of two desperate people trying to save their home and give their kids a better Christmas. In this movie, Pam and Jeff are subjected to the pain and agony of a booby trapped house because that’s just what you do in the third act of a Home Alone movie.
Congratulations, You’re an Idiot!
We think of the original Home Alone as a fun and entertaining romp. A movie that we watch maybe once a year, with the whole family, whenever Christmas rolls around. We laugh. We cry. We cringe. We debate the morality of torturing criminals. We talk about the wasted potential of Macaulay Culkin. But there is so much more to it than that. From Macaulay Culkin’s thoroughly gifted performance, to the masterful physical comedy of Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern, there is very good reason as to why it remains a beloved holiday classic.
But even more than that, the original Home Alone is also an incredibly well written and directed movie. It was a laugh out loud comedy made by incredibly serious filmmakers. All of whom were completely aware of the logical hoops they needed to leap through in order to hold on to their audience. Suspension of disbelief only works when the narrative provides you with the tools that allow you to do so. In Home Sweet Home Alone, the filmmakers figure that you’ve likely seen at least one of these movies before, so they don’t need to do any more heavy lifting.
Home Sweet Home Alone is cheap, and flat, and completely squanders any good will that audiences may still have for this franchise. It is not a movie you’ll remember in 20 hours let alone something you’ll still be watching and talking about in 20 years.
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