Back in 2009 (almost an eternity ago in the age of the Internet) there was Gamer. A frantic, vomitous, nonthinking action piece in which prisoners vie for their freedoms by participating in gladiatorial games to entertain a bloodthirsty public who watch on pay-per-view. The catch: they’re controlled à la video game avatars – via implanted computer chips in their brains – by real, honest-to-god, human players. Cheap and exploitative, whatever message the movie had about society or politics was lost in the long and prolonged racket of explosions and machine gun fire.
And then, in 2016, the lightweight Nerve, with Dave Franco and Emma Roberts, made a pass at topicality by trying to provide some timely commentary regarding social media and its impact on society. The movie had a few sharp observations about our all-screen-all-the-time state of mind, and how those eager to become “instafamous” eventually end up the ritual sacrifice; lambs slaughtered at the altar of fame and popularity.
Which brings us to Guns Akimbo, an attempt by writer/director Jason Lei Howden to merge the social media satire of Nerve with the video game caricature of Gamer. The end product, unfortunately, is less than stellar.
Here, a mild mannered loser, Miles (Daniel Radcliffe), gets drafted against his will by the notorious Skizm, an online platform that pits weirdos, wannabes, and criminals against one another in a fight to the death. One day, he is knocked unconscious by a bunch of rejects from Beyond Thunderdome, kidnapped, and subjected to some rather unfortunate body alterations. When he wakes up, he finds a pair of guns painfully bolted to his hands. He also discovers that he is now an active, real-life participant in the kind of violent video game he usually enjoys playing online. His opponent: the reigning champion, the lethal and undefeatable Nix (Samara Weaving).
Now I know what you’re thinking. All of this sounds about as mad as a box of frogs. The kind of crazy that should result in some genuinely fun and escapist fare. It doesn’t. The kind of mid-budget high-octane shoot-em-up that ends up underperforming at the box office but eventually finds new life – and a cult following – on streaming and home video. It won’t.
But let’s get the good stuff out of the way. Daniel Radcliffe, in yet another attempt at distancing himself from Harry Potter, throws himself into the role, flexing both his action hero and comedy chops, while trying hard to make the most of the juvenile material before him. Samara Weaving is a delight as she shamelessly channels what appears to be an audition tape for Harley Quinn. And… that’s about it.
Besides the charisma of our two leads, and maybe one solid laugh courtesy of the always hilarious Rhys Darby, the rest of the movie just feels dated and uninspired. None of the action sequences land. (In fact, the first car chase feels so artificial it makes that blindfolded motorcycle sequence from Nerve look like a masterpiece.) Most of the dialogue is painfully superficial with regards to the culture that it’s trying to represent. With no real drama, or conflict, or emotional heft.
A hero needs motivation that goes beyond a kidnapped ex-girlfriend. A villain needs to be despicable beyond the tattoos on his face. And we, the audience, need to feel invested enough to want the good guy to win and the bad guy be torn apart limb from limb by rabid chimpanzees. It really isn’t all that complicated.
Take John Wick, for example. A movie so tightly plotted that you learn everything you need to know about the character within the first 10 minutes. What’s more, all of it is done with little to no dialogue. You’re so emotionally attuned to John and his loss that, as soon as his dog is killed, you’re ready to suit up and brutally murder some Russian mobsters yourself.
Alas, Guns Akimbo has neither that kind of focus nor smarts.
Oh, and I almost forgot. All of this is also supposed to be social commentary. Or at least it sets itself up to be with characters that are unsubtly coded to reflect our everyday reality. With themes that should speak to the dehumanising nature of the Internet and the toxicity it spews out into the real world. Unfortunately, Guns Akimbo ends up being precisely the kind of vapid, mindless entertainment that it’s supposedly making fun of.
Guns Akimbo
95 minutes
Director: Jason Lei Howden
Writer: Jason Lei Howden
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Samara Weaving, Natasha Liu Bordizzo, Ned Dennehy, Grant Bowler, Edwin Wright, Rhys Darby, Mark Rowley, and Colin Moy
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