I think I laughed once while watching The Wrong Missy. Then again, it might have been my body’s fight or flight response. That one stray chuckle the result of my sympathetic nervous system reacting to the barrage of lazy, doltish, uninspired yucks that this movie dishes out over the course of its 90 or so minutes.
The premise of this movie, like that of every Happy Madison production, is something that sounds a lot better when you’re drunk. Where most of us would wake up the morning after a night out and have the harsh light of day sterilise our more idiotic notions, Adam Sandler and his team have a tendency to go out and get Netflix to give them money to turn those dumb ideas into movies. (I’m looking at you The Do-Over. Which, like The Wrong Missy, was also clearly an excuse to take his posse on an all expenses paid tropical vacation.)
In what is the most predictable meet-cute of all time, David Spade’s Tim Morris literally runs into his ideal woman (Molly Sims as the “right” Missy) at an airport. After crashing into one another, the both of them mistakenly swap bags and boarding passes, miss their flights, decide to grab a drink, and end up almost having sex in a janitor’s closet. Their coitus is interrupted by an unfortunately timed boarding call, but they exchange phone numbers and promise to stay in touch. Things are looking up for Tim, until he accidentally texts the “wrong” Missy.
You know that it’s like, when you mean to text the girl of your dreams but end up texting the oddball you once went out with on a blind date? Not just the one text message sent in a moment of carelessness, mind you, but a series of conversations, across an extended period of time, that result in an invitation to Hawaii on a corporate retreat.
Surely that’s happened to you. No? Never? Whatever! Because it happens to Tim. And he ends up having to spend a weekend with the loud, swivel-eyed, and slightly unhinged Missy, instead of the Ivy League, beauty queen Missy. (Yes, you read that right. Who needs a manic pixie dream girl when you’ve got an Ivy League beauty queen?)
Everyone in this movie is objectively awful. Tim, the supposedly “loveable nice guy”, only invites Missy along on his trip in order to make his ex-fiancée jealous. This is the “right” Missy by the way. His so-called soulmate whom he very quickly relegates to the role of arm candy. And then, when the “wrong” Missy shows up, Tim, along with his friends and colleagues, proceed to treat her like garbage.
Ordinarily, all of this should incite some sympathy from the audience toward Missy. But given that she is equally as unpleasant a character, it feels like everyone here truly deserves one another.
But that isn’t why this is a terrible movie.
Like you, I too enjoy watching people be unapologetically nasty to one another. (See: Tiger King, Too Hot to Handle, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Bojack Horseman, etc.) The problem here isn’t that The Wrong Missy is gleefully shallow and sexist, it’s that it doesn’t know how to pull it off. It isn’t offensive, it’s just boring.
In crafting these horrible human beings, writers Kevin Barnett and Chris Pappas (who did such great work on HBO’s The Righteous Gemstones) made the rookie mistake of not giving them any redemptive qualities. You can root for the bad guy as long as you’re able to find a glimmer of good within their character. Tim, Missy, and the other mean-spirited misanthropes that inhabit this film, are so hateful that you wouldn’t admit to seeing even the palest reflection of yourself in them.
It doesn’t help that this is also a deeply unfunny movie. Lauren Lapkus, who deserves so much better, plays the “wrong” Missy with such a deranged energy that it truly is a sight to behold. It’s just too bad that she is given such godawful material to work with. As for David Spade, his hairpiece does more work than he does in this movie.
None of the jokes land. And the gross out gags feel dated and unoriginal. In fact, every laugh is predicated on whether or not you find overpaid actors pulling funny faces amusing. I present to you exhibits A thru D.
Last year, while doing press for Uncut Gems, Adam Sandler told Howard Stern how he would get back at the Academy if they snubbed him in the best actor category. “If I don’t get it, I’m going to fucking come back and do one again that is so bad on purpose just to make you all pay,” he joked. “That’s how I get them.”
The Wrong Missy isn’t strictly an Adam Sandler movie, but coming from his production studio, it nevertheless feels like the opening salvo in his cunning revenge play.
The Wrong Missy
Netflix
90 minutes
Director: Tyler Spindel
Writers: Kevin Barnett and Chris Pappas
Cast: David Spade, Lauren Lapkus, Roman Reigns, Geoff Pierson, Sarah Chalke, Rob Schneider, Jackie Sandler, Nick Swardson, and Molly Sims
Follow Us