10 Thoughts I Had While Bored Watching Netflix’s Beckett

Dept. of Car Crashes and Conspiracies

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After debuting at the Locarno Film Festival earlier this month, Beckett, starring John David Washington (Tenet, BlacKkKlansman) and Alicia Vikander(Ex Machina, Tomb Raider) arrived on Netflix this past weekend. I’d like to say it was a triumphant arrival but despite the film riding high on Netflix’s Top 10, I found my attention wandering constantly while watching it.

Before anyone complains this list is just me nitpicking… yes, yes it is me nitpicking. The reason why any of these thoughts occurred to me was because the film failed to hold my attention. Despite the presence of Washington, who we loved in BlacKkKlansman and Tenet, I just didn’t find the film engaging at all. It left me cold. And so… my mind wandered.

Here are 10 things I couldn’t help thinking about while watching Beckett.

This list contains mild spoilers for Beckett.

1. Beckett And April Are The Reason I Don’t Talk To Other Couples On Holiday

I get that director Ferdinando Cito Filomarino is trying to establish John David Washington’s Beckett and Alicia Vikander’s Alice as your everyday, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary couple on vacation, but DEAR GOD these people are annoying. From their “cute” game making up backstories for random passersby, to their inane conversations about nothing, I thought they were vapid and boring even before Beckett confessed “I’m having a love attack.” BARF!

2. Belt Up!

I appreciate when movies “show don’t tell,” setting things up in advance so plot developments don’t feel as if they come completely out of nowhere, but the clichés around driving are getting insane. I can’t watch movies anymore where the camera shows the driver in side view, looking out their side window, without expecting a truck or bus to T-bone the car. That doesn’t happen here, but the signposting around what does happen is almost as bad. This was the most tension I felt for the whole movie and the plot hadn’t even kicked in yet

Let’s just say you should ALWAYS wear your seatbelt when you get in a car, it doesn’t matter who’s driving, how far you are going, or how uncomfortable you find them.

Just wear your seat belts people!

3. Déjà Vu?

I think I liked this movie more when it was called Enemy of the State. 

4. Choose Your Co-Conspirators Wisely

Man, this movie really acts as a warning as to what can happen if you pick the wrong people for your big political conspiracy. You really need some cool heads. You also need to have a prearranged game plan when confronting people outside the conspiracy too. When the only witness to your crime is a concussed, medicated, car crash survivor, who doesn’t even realize he saw anything incriminating, you probably shouldn’t start shooting at him for no reason!

Then again, maybe cooler heads just don’t get involved in political conspiracies?

5. Grey Greece

A political thriller that takes the audience from the countryside of Northern Greece to the bustle of Athens sounds like a great opportunity for some interesting visuals, but why is everything so flat and full? Apart from one or two, admittedly well used mountain vistas, everything looks so grey.

6. D’ya Like Dags?

Were all these dogs just hanging around the shooting locations or did the director specifically ask for them to be included in the street scenes?

7. Just Do Work

A political conspiracy action thriller with a true everyman seems like a great idea, and Beckett is truly a true everyman. A hyperventilating hero who is well out of his depth. Is it the best use of John David Washington’s talents though to have him just looking stunned for through most of the movie? Sure he occasionally gets to exercise his acting chops when the movie remembers he’s trying to cope with grief and gives him enough time to emote, but the rest of the time he just ends up blundering around the Greek countryside looking spooked, coughing, and twitching.

In a world of Jason Bournes it could have been so interesting for a completely average person to try to extricate themselves from a political conspiracy with no cash, no phone, and no clue, but the end result here is a film with no tension.

8 Music To Make Murder To

Composer Ryuichi Sakamoto (Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence, The Revenant) is a musical genius, but why does the music sound like it’s piped in from multiple different 80s thrillers? Often, the score feels like it belongs in a horror movie when Beckett’s just walking through the woods, and I found the jazzy drum accompaniment to the climactic foot chase at odds with the action on screen.

9 Tearing Up

Is John David Washington’s Beckett immune to tear gas? He seems to walk through the climactic protest scenes without a bother? What exactly happened to the knife guy in the gas mask? Did he kill Karras? Was that a lie? I know there was a massive protest/riot going on, but are Greek police prone to leaving dead bodies in the middle of the street where passing tourists can loot them for guns? Also, I know the movie was shot in 2019, but was anyone else weirded out by the large crowd scenes? These crowds generated as much unintentional tension in me as the car scenes earlier on!

10. I Need Your Clothes, Your Boots, and Your Motorcycle…

Okay. I did find it pretty funny when Beckett found out just how difficult it is to commandeer a vehicle from someone in the film’s climax. He probably picked the worst time and place to do it too seeing Athens was full of strong willed anti-government protestors.

Final Verdict (If It Wasn’t Already Clear)

Despite it’s stellar cast (that was Michael Stuhlbarg, yes the Michael Stuhlbarg, on the phone in that one scene!) and unique locations, Becket fails to distinguish itself as a thriller. A real missed opportunity.

Beckett is now streaming on Netflix.

Irish Film lover lost in Malaysia. Co-host of Malaysia's longest running podcast (movie related or otherwise ) McYapandFries and frequent cryer in movies. Ask me about "The Ice Pirates"

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